I'm not a gym person, working out in groups gives me anxiety. I've tried. I've joined several gyms over the years only to go once or twice, never return and cringe after each monthly auto debit. I like my exercise in solitude.  Working out alone gives me peace and allows me to clear my head.  Ideally I'd workout outdoors.  Walking, Hiking, Biking, Tennis, yes please.  Sadly, winter has been kicking our butts here in the A.  Forecasts of snow, 15 degree weather with wind chill making it feel like 1 degree all spell stay inside for me. 

So what's a girl to do when she's all cooped up in her sweet little studio apartment?  She gets her sweat on at home that's what.  I've got DVDs, kettlebells, hand weights, leg weights, mats and a portable home gym. (Hi Total Gym!) This piece of equipment allows me to do several types of workouts and when I'm finished I can fold it up and tuck it away. It may be tight, but I can make it work in my small space. 

Does all of this mean I've got a rock hard six pack and 0% body fat? A resounding NO would be the appropriate answer.  Even with everything I have within reach, I still have a problem with  consistency long term.  Working out feels great once I get started, and I always sleep better after having done it, but the habit to do it on the regular still eludes me. I go hard for weeks, get knocked off my routine and don't do anything for months. All the while feeling guilty and ashamed. 

Please stop this ride, I want to get off.

I needed to figure out what was wrong and fix it. I genuinely want exercise to be a part of my daily routine. Working out like a beast takes me to a new level of fierceness. I'll need it in my later years when I turn into a sassy old lady. I'm going to strut around in heels and leather trying looking half as good as the ever youthful Tina Turner. This won't be possible without tight legs and a strong core. 

The problem is my 'all or nothing' personality.  When I'm interested in something I go all in.  I don't gradually try to drink more water, I go from drinking none to a gallon a day cutting out any other beverages.  This lasts for a week or two, until I lose it and go in on a jug of lemonade, or sweet tea, or both (hello Arnold Palmer) I can't just change my diet gradually by replacing unhealthy foods with healthy ones.  I have to remove any food that ever brought me any joy and switch them with foods that sound good on paper but are weird or just downright nasty.   Needless to say none of this ever goes well and I end up where I started but worse because I'm saddled with feeling personally shamed for not meeting unrealistic expectations. 

So what did I do next? First, I unfriended Drastic Change, it's done me no favors. Next, I acknowledged what I like to do.  I like working out on my home gym, so I've got time scheduled for it.  I like dancing, so I've got several hard core dance workout DVDs. I hate waiting for the elevator so I take the stairs, usually when I'm going down, we're still working on up. I'm also doing the 30 Day Plank Challenge.  I'm hoping small changes will add up to a big change. Healthy habit here I come!

Happy Sweating!